Save Myself

I hang my head (head) Locked inside of my bedroom, I'll be fine (fine) Right now, I'm saving my breath (breath) I'm sick of wasting my time (time) This for all the times that I bled (bled) And all the pain that I felt (felt) I'll use the lies that I'm fed to fuckin' save myself Scared to pick that lock that's hiding my subconscious Way too young to be knowing all of these toxins Twelve years old, I was sippin' on concoctions Tryna tell the world that I think I'm all out of options Screaming out for help with the whole world watching It was entertaining, it fueled their gossip I was just a little kid when I flipped that faucet, went unconscious Like fuck it I'ma found out who God is No one ever found out about that day So they kept on giving me back pains They didn't care if I was stuck in a bad place It made my brain sicker than the Black Plague, now I'm having panic attacks when I'm alone, and I don't sleep Fingers down my throat between the meals I wouldn't eat When I hit rock bottom, and I wanted to retreat I just crawled back up to my damn feet I hang my head (head) Locked inside of my bedroom, I'll be fine (fine) Right now, I'm saving my breath (breath) I'm sick of wasting my time (time) This for all the times that I bled (bled) And all the pain that I felt (felt) I'll use the lies that I'm fed to fuckin' save myself Bottled up inside, I never learned a way to grieve Can't blame myself, 'cause ever since I was a teen Everyone I found too close to me would leave I would hold on too long even when they'd cheat Happened three times, but the fourth girl was a treat She manipulated all my insecurities I would pull her weight for weeks while we wouldn't speak Held up her world while she would kick me in the knees I been thinking hard about that day When I told her it was our last day together She decided to take all of that pain And try to overdose, memory is a bad lane That I'ma never drive down, she don't deserve it, that's OD Permanent imprints from all of the anxieties Still burn my soul so bad it's a third-degree But I'm still not accepting defeat I hang my head (head) Locked inside of my bedroom, I'll be fine (fine) Right now, I'm saving my breath (breath) I'm sick of wasting my time (time) This for all the times that I bled (bled) And all the pain that I felt (felt) I'll use the lies that I'm fed to fuckin' save myself I won't (I guess I'll save myself) I won't break, break (I guess I'll save myself)