Spread like a Plague (feat. yul)

Catching the moment, I am caught in my past What I have followed and what I've swallowed Were shells of non-existence I am mortified by the fact that I gave nothing to contribute To the world that runs so fast And I've been here wasting everything You say I'm lost anyway All these efforts have turned away from me Existence is no more I wasn't there, I was a loser after all From my heart I confess I'm nothing more than a cherry picker Exit from the lies, we're floundering in this pool of our own faults Catching the freight train, bound for nowhere fast without confidence Unnecessary burden What have I done? What difference did I make? Oh, my presence fades I am here but ain't here, I see you but you're not there There is no page to read It doesn't matter, I'm carried to where the train goes Will you tell me to give up? Can I go back and try again? Why did I have to go along this way? Finally, can I be able to change? How did I leave myself not to stay pure? How can I undo mistakes from the past?