Scars

No, I'm not perfect, never said I was I keep it on the surface, never give enough Got BPD and OCD So when you see me, you don't really see me Always do the same thing just to maintain If I don't, I'ma break things, say insane things I don't really wanna talk about it, I want help Swear it's so hard for me to love myself I can't enjoy the good days 'cause I know the dark comes next I'm a child of divorce, that explains my stress I was ten years old, future pulled out from under me Never had much stability to cover mе Cold nights in my father's trailer Funny how I miss those timеs Funny how it never really crossed my mind Up until those days get far behind I've been searching for a purpose, to make life worth it Trying to unearth it, hate that death's certain Thinking all the things that I took for granted All this success, could've never planned it Yeah, I've been thinking 'bout my life in the past tense If I never dealt with that, would I rap then? All the traumas that I went through made me me and everything I be Makin' all these scars It hurts me right before I run away too far I'll never let a soul in One day I'll find the peace of mine The peace of mine (oh) And it's been so hard to handle the pressure Worse before it'll get better Scared that I'm drowning But I keep going, I have to ease it up Bury my head in the sand, but I'll be a better man I just close my eyes and pray that I'll be fine And I just stay awake Longing for the day I change I wanna change sometimes And I just stay awake hoping all my stitches fade (But all these scars will never fade away) Used to be young, I miss those days when I could be dumb But I had to grow up fast 'cause life came at me And I miss life when I was no one Used to be broke, used to be alone in my room playin' shows Grippin' the mic and I would kill it when I was low Everything change when I came up Now I'm just someone I barely know And I'm cutting people off too easily and it scares me Mom did the same and it hurt me, but don't compare me Set to explode, I approach pain rarely Have you ever felt sane? (Barely) Dark days, always in a dark place Doing things the hard way, I don't wanna start things So I'm just keeping to myself, want a way out But I might need help Makin' all these scars It hurts me right before I run away too far I'll never let a soul in One day I'll find the peace of mine The peace of mine (oh) And it's been so hard to handle the pressure Worse before it'll get better Scared that I'm drowning But I keep going, I have to ease it up Bury my head in the sand, but I'll be a better man I just close my eyes and pray that I'll be fine And I just stay awake Longing for the day I change I wanna change sometimes And I just stay awake hoping all my stitches fade (But all these scars will never fade away)