Lyrics
I drive past an old woman
With permed white hair
Tending to her garden in the winter
My hands grip tightly
To the faux-leather wheel of the 2007 Volvo
My father bought for me
I arrive at a cafe
With all intention of reading a good book
And enjoying a flat white
Unfortunately I'm too embarrassed
When confronted with a group of personal trainers
Who whilst not very good at school
Are now more than proficient at telling people how to exercise
And carefully curating social media profiles
Pretentious soft boy
Pretentious soft boy
All too well do I remember myself
Roaming the streets
Clad in a light blue lacoste tracksuit
The sounds of the eminem show
Blaring lazily into my ears
Via my portable sony discman
I continue to convince myself of my superiority
Stemming from the transition to skinny jeans when I was 16
A brief stint as an emo
Is an essential stage in the development
Of any modern metrosexual
Pretentious soft boy
Pretentious soft boy
I don't care that I'm gaining weight
I don't care that I'm gaining weight
Pretentious soft boy
Pretentious soft boy
One of the pack saunters past me
And I'm smacked in the face
With the stench of Paco Rabanne One Million
As I scoff in judgement
I find myself fixated upon
The sight of a perfectly defined glute
Suddenly
I am consumed with jealousy
Writer(s): James Aslanidis, Justin Lee Williams, Richard Dudley Harris, Sebastian Paolo Stefani
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