MY VICE (WHAT IS LOVE?)

I know lately you can't recognize me You can't get it in my head Feel like you despise me I know lately you don't want the drama You don't wanna feel me out Feel like that it's honest I been tryna wrap my mind around the fact that this is all you see And I ain't used to the kind of love you giving it's not meant for me Oh what I mean, I have a hard time Receiving not in my bloodline It makes me nervous that's why I stay tryna sabotage And now I'm on my own, all alone, can't let go, my vice Now I'm on my own, all alone, can't let go, my vice See I been tryna wrap my mind around the fact that this just ain't me Dammit and I ain't used to the kind of love you giving it's not meant for me Oh what I mean, I have a hard time Receiving not in my bloodline I don't deserve it that's why I stay tryna sabotage Sabotage everything in my window you know A tunnel vision predicted it's causing me to be ghost That liquor vicious in my system I'm never without a glass or a bottle or a cup And you know I'm keeping a flask It's bad my fists flying holes in the wall Causing damage internally foreseeing where I fall And I know you see potential minus anger and rage Multiplying your love for me adding on to the pain Dividing what I wanna conquer And these days I wonder why you never duck and cover Or dip and dodge, help me understand your focus Cause mentally my mind is gone and the emptiness shows it So what I tend to do is drown in my jaded thoughts And leave you hanging anticipating the day I drop And not to get all dark a couple days I wish upon it So to spare you I just rather keep my distance while I'm twisted And be consistently uh On my own, can't let go, all alone, my vice, hey Oh I'm on my own, all alone, can't let go, my vice, hey