Grown

I don't know how to write a song Without feeling like I'm losing my mind All of the time It felt more easy when I was 15 Now that I'm 21 I've come undone I've had so much fun I'm scared to be 22 Taylor Swift made it seem like it'd be so easy But now I'm queasy, ha! I don't know how I made it on my own Now I'm scared to go back home And be alone I think too much about what life should be like I know it's gonna be a long uphill hike I've got secrets in my head All the rumors that she said And I'm still thinking about being in your bed Same old shit to bitch and moan How will I pay off my student loans? Making music as my capstone Since when did I start to feel so grown? I'm scared of running from the uphill fight I don't know what happens at the end of the night No matter the outcome I won't be alone Since when did I start to feel so grown? Since when did I start to feel so grown? Since when did I start to feel so grown? I find myself thinking in circles I remember that the way that your hair curls You weren't like the other girls I've had the chance to see That a gas light, is it bright enough? Does it keep you up at night? The same way it sometimes does me I think too much about what life should be like I know it's gonna be a long uphill hike I've got secrets in my head All the rumors that she said And I'm still thinking about being in your bed Same old shit to bitch and moan How will I pay off my student loans? Making music as my capstone Since when did I start to feel so grown? I'm scared of running from the uphill fight I don't know what happens at the end of the night No matter the outcome I won't be alone Since when did I start to feel so grown? Since when did I start to feel so grown? Since when did I start to feel so grown? I've never had a crisis feel so big I can't rig the odds in my favor A damsel in distress but I'm my own savior It's left up to me And who I wanna be It's all up to me This is my reality You can't take away from me It's all up to me You've got me fucked up As if that ain't enough Like it was so fucking off-the-cuff I call your bluff Wondering will it ever be enough? (It will never be enough.) Are you the damsel or the drama queen Don't need to be so goddamn mean I change the scene, it plays on a new screen I was 19 When I felt the world fall out beneath me Same old shit to bitch and moan How will I pay off my student loans? Making music as part of my capstone Since when did I start to feel so grown? I'm scared of running from the uphill fight I don't know what happens at the end of the night No matter the outcome I won't be alone Since when did I start to feel so Fuck Since when did I start to feel so grown? Since when did we start to feel so grown?