Early Morning Zen

I stay in a room, so late Till it's early, till the sun shines in In the window, through the glass, light bends Like widow, all alone, no friends On the meadow, where my mind reaches Where it puts me in a dangerous mess I just lay there, just wait for the end Till the end comes, now I don't wanna attend It's a trend, a repetitive cycle I cast myself to a solitary isle Clouds so grim, at the world's blank rim Water so gray, and I just jump in Sink down to the bed like a fish, no fin When a storm comes, I don't feel that wind I kinda like it, but I never know why Don't fight it, never been a tough guy Keep hiding, lose track of my spine No guidance, never got in a line I'm a calm guy, consistently shy But I do try, be a little more mean Getting the respect, no messing with me Try and be a little happy, live heavenly But what is heaven? Never seen I ain't too religious, and I'm never gonna be Praying is begging, won't ever see me on my knees Anything I get I put the credit on me Do I believe? I don't know I think there's a lot more than what's below The sky above, only hoping though I'm rowing through a river, blue Counting daisies on the bank And one day I'll be pushing them too Will it be soon? Can never tell I'll sit it out, long days, crammed in a cell Dust makes a haze, silence, a craze Yet I remain in this very quiet place And if the dust settles, though I know it won't ever I could maybe then finally, get out of my ways