Grandma told me (she told me)
When I was a lad (just a lad)
To sit beside her when she was sad (so sad)
She said
Son (oh dear)
My time is nigh (it's getting near)
One of these days (like next Thursday)
You're gonna die
Death is swift
Death is kind
Death is never far behind
You could eat a bad shrimp
You could blow up in a blimp
You could get rabies from a raccoon
Or get stabbed with a spoon
You could be playing the electric bass
And get electrocuted in the face
My grandson you should live in fear
Because death is always near
Death is swift
Death is kind
Death is never far behind
Listen sonny I heard the other day from Lucinda when we were playing bridge
That her husband's
Nephew's brother
Was eating at a restaurant
And at this particular restaurant they had some bad beef
And I'm not talking about a fight, no
Their beef was actually bad
And because of that, she got a parasite in her food
That ended up in her body
And you wouldn't believe the amount of pooping
And puking that happened before she finally slipped away
So you need to make sure that you're taking care of yourself
Death is swift
Death is kind
Death is never far behind
