Don't Send Me Home

Its week three in the Bake Off tent And tensions are getting high (they're getting high) They're pinning all their hopes and dreams On a miniature key lime pie Will the judges be impressed? Can they produce their very best Within the time? (There's no more time, we're out of time) Now the judges must decide (did I blow my chance in the signature?) Surely they will score me high For my mini misogynists from literature My tiny tarte tatin has fallen on the floor Will they troll me, or console me If I stay on channel four? Don't send me home I don't wanna be the next to go Don't send me home 'Cause it means so much to be on this show We've loved every single second But now we fear our place is threatened Don't send me home (Don't send me home) Russell I'm going home Big hug, big hug I'm going home (big hug, big hug) Give him a cuddle, a snuggly wuggle I'm going home Another week in the Bake Off tent And it's all about biscuits (all about biscuits, yeah) I've never made a ginger snap but I guess I'll have to risk it Maybe I should whisk it Step one, make the dough As if that's something I should know What's the sugar ratio Don't know (don't know, don't know) Beat, batter, mix, blend Will the drama never end Will your ginger snap go 'snap' (snap, snap it like that) Knock, knock, can you guess who's there? It's a shortbread Fred Astaire, and he's looking for Ginger Looking for Ginger? Careful you don't singe her Don't send me home (don't send me home) I don't wanna be the next to go Don't send me home (don't send me home) 'Cause it means so much to be on this show We've loved every single second But now we fear our place is threatened Don't send me home (don't send me home) Francesca I'm going home (big hug, big hug) Give her a cuddle, a snuggly wuggle Hey Phil, I survived another week You can't get enough of my critique Maybe I'm on a winning streak Knock knock Who's there? It's me! I don't care A contestant's taking Philip on! Who would ever be so headstrong? Who knew she loves this long So... what's the verdict Oh, Lily. I'm so sorry Aw We're here for another week! Yes, go dad! And Gemma got star baker two weeks running Star baker, again? I don't know how, it's embarrassing really! You might just call it, uh... Je ne sais quoi My dad's not bad I thought you didn't speak French He's smiling, and it's nice to see that he's not so sad He's got a twinkle in his eye Right you, out of here Can I have a bite, Please? Not 'til later, small child I'm so glad I came on this show It's been so amazing (Here, somewhere in the dough) And I've started to dip my toe (This is the kind of) Into a life I'd like to know I don't get no peace when there's flirting in the tent Yeah, flirting in the tent, man, when will it relent? I'm trying to bake, it's detracting from the show I think there might be something more than sugar in the dough Gemma's got a new dress, who's she trying to impress? Take a look at Ben, man, he's looking like a ten Who knows what happens in the tent at night This is meant to be bake off, not married at first sight Another week (the weeks go by) Another challenge (will I score high?) Another pie (God, I hate pie) Man, I love pie! Don't send me home (don't send me home) I don't wanna be the next to go Don't send me home (don't send me home) 'Cause it means so much to be on this show We've loved every single second But now we fear our place is threatened Don't send me home (don't send me home) Don't send me home (don't send me home) Don't send me home (don't send me home) Babs I'm going home (big hug, big hug) Give her a big hug Give her a cuddle, a snuggly wuggle Knock knock Who's there? Donut Donut who? Donut ask me why I'm so funny, 'cause it's not my fault Ha, go on. I'll give you that I'm going home Don't send me home