The Diagnosis (Genshin Impact Fan Musical)

That's why rooming with Alhaitham is the worst Oh, and another thing He's been wearing my limited edition weasel house slippers! Ugh, Kaveh, stop complaining about Alhaitham Besides, why would he wear your slippers? He's so much richer than you If he wanted, he could buy thousands of them On top of everything else I think I'm getting sick At the mention of Alhaitham maybe Kaveh, as a Forest Watcher I've seen my share of ailments If you'd like, with Cyno's help I can diagnose you Do you think this is serious? Tell me what you see! Cheeks are sunken Like an old man's as he dies What?! And from the bulging of your eyes You've got the most severe of cases That's just how my face is! Posture's shrunken Nausea is your new routine It's up to us to intervene And shed a light on what your symptoms mean All the indicators tell us, you're jealous Huh?! It's safe to say Alhaitham's great renown In Teyvat brings you down They tell us, you're jealous You're diagnosed Let's toast to nature's laws Your symptoms have a cause This is crazy! What makes you think I'm jealous of Alhaitham?! It's his look, it's his vibe It's his status as a Scribe Bet you nag him like a spouse Because you can't afford his house (Hey!) It's the "clap, clap, claps" he got as Acting Grand Sage Do you snap, snap, snap Because his youth reminds you of your age? Turn the page It could be the fact that you want his wage Since you're always short of mora You know dept like I know flora For a second just reflect And respect our intellect Our theory isn't off-the-cuff it's obvious I've had enough! Fellas, he's jealous Oh, come on! No wonder why If I was broke as you I'd feel pathetic too As clues accrue They tell us, you're jealous You're diagnosed Let's toast to nature's laws Your symptoms have a cause You've been in denial a while But it'd be best If you confessed the way you really feel You'd share it, we'd hear it Your spirit would soar There's no need to conceal What could help you to heal So tell us You're jealous We're zealous Cause we've been there before You'd share it, we'd hear it Your spirit would soar Tell us you're jealous The truth is a useful tool Tell us you're jealous Let's move on, so we can duel Tell us you're jealous You don't have to play pretend Tell us you're jealous Or this song will never end! I'm jealous! I knew it Alhaitham?! Yay!