It’s Happening?

Every January 1st Whilst everyone is smiling My fingers hit my phone I'm so close to dialing The suicide hotline The suicide hotline So fall down Tell me that I'm everything you want now And freeze tag Means that I stand still whenever You touch that Whenever you touch that Then I see your picture in my phone Oh god I think It's happening Why can I hear your voice? When I'm home alone? I think that I'm going crazy I'm going crazy And now I can't enjoy my simple days You ruin them I'm not okay I try to turn my love to hate But then you smile back so deranged Wait who do I hate? With a smile like that? Then I see your picture in my phone Oh god I think It's happening Why can I hear your voice? When I'm home alone? I think that I'm going crazy I'm going crazy So every January 1st Whilst I feel the fucking worst I take a bottle think of her And pray to god that on this earth I'll get what I deserve I think I'm way too good to hurt So why must I suffer? Then I see your picture in my phone Oh god I think It's happening Why can I hear your voice? When I'm home alone? I think that I'm going crazy I'm going crazy Then I see your picture in my phone Oh god I think It's happening Why can I hear your voice? When I'm home alone? I think that I'm going crazy I'm going crazy How can I forget when there's always maybe?