58 Pills

I've seen the worst of you Guess what I'd still pick you No one loved you more in life She wasn't strong enough I thought she was strong enough I thought she was strong enough Get to the hospital quick I'm on my way She just took 58 pills of some Tylenol I'm just praying for her to be safe I just went over 100, the cops pulled me over The hurt is written on my face They let me go even though I should've been arrested No misdemeanor, I got an infraction I prayed to God with my all And saw how some of my actions were flawed I saw how I fought fire with fire Her flames were Zuko but mine were much hotter, Azula I should've forgiven sooner but I enjoyed Being a ruler Plus I felt like it was her turn to suffer I tried to get even I should've just loved her And burdens were falling on me How could I live with the guilt I'm the last one she talked to and now she's ODing on pills All of her family would blame me and I'd blame myself And I know that I shouldn't but I know myself Man I crumbled and cried with my mom by my side Man, I reached out to God, it was no time to hide Look, the devil is real and it morphed into 58 pills And it morphed into me and the anger I felt My words were swords from the daggers of hell and her skin was just paper I wanted some justice but God told me later Would read the Bible but run from the Savior I knew what to do but my pain told me hate her I can't neglect God's teachings she was trying so hard to follow God's path And I was being hypocritical and not following God's path And then acting like I was the saint and she wasn't And that's wrong of me, that's wrong of me I took advantage of a woman and then now she may never come back God, please, God Please, oh please She's a good girl, God Give her some more time on this earth Have you ever done these things Traveled to Ireland, see the Eiffel Tower Inspire the poets and writers, the Van Gogh Museum or any Museum Tell your life story with no interference A Sakura tree, when the beauty just peaks Or a Japanese sauna a concert of Lan Del Rey What about helping a child who ain't got a father or a mother Never felt love even when she was younger Attended school but got bullied, abused Not only physically, sexually too Needed someone who related like you But you tried to leave at 20 years of life Now she won't grow up with no one by her side Thought we were supposed to foster a couple kiddos How could I do that on my own When you the one who planted the idea in my dome Now you scared of dying, repenting The charcoal you drinking is making you throw up Used to seek pain with the blade and the cuts that it made Now you're going through worse than emotional pain See your life drifting, you hate your decision You cling on to life, attempted suicide Doctors don't know if they can save your life You call out to God, cause I'm not by your side I'm downstairs, won't let me see you tonight Called the nurse about eight different times Till she got pissed and hung up the line Called the next day about six and nine I was so scared that they'd tell me you died But I got the best news, you would be alright I got the best news, you would be alright