And Then He Took Up Golf

And Then He Took Up Golf He was a fine and handsome chap Had the world right in his lap His manners and his smile were simply charming His clothes were always neat Quite successful in the street His life was so complete t'was quite alarming And then he took up golf Now he wanders round at night Only waiting till it's light So he can take his clubs and start to play It costs him twenty every time When he wins it's just a dime His bankroll's getting slimmer every day He wears socks of baby blue Shirts and ties of every hue His colour scheme would make a bluebird scoff Some friends should take a rifle for he is an awful eyeful Ever since he took up golf (Chuckles. Spoken 'And married men play golf too) He was a wonderful family man Doing all a husband can To keep his wife and children awfully happy He lived for them alone Never left his own hearthstone Just an all American pappy And the he took up golluf (that is how he pronounces it) And now his family wait Cook is sore, the dinner's late And often now he doesn't come at all There is sulphur in the air He's as cheerful as a bear As they hear him kick a hatrack in the hall There's a wild look in his eyes As he curses, groans or sighs And throws a plate at Jenny, Bill or Rolf In his sleep he pans his caddy Oh, he's quite a different daddy Ever since he took up golf Now, when shadows start to creep He comes home and wants to sleep His family hardly see him anymore His face is awfully dour And his manners very sour He keeps mumbling and grumbling about his score His kids say now and then Mama, here's that man again We knew him when he took his sweater of There are brambles in his hair And the sand is everywhere Ever since he took up golf