Oh, the night that I struck New York, I went out for a quiet walk
Folks that long to the City say, better by far that I had Broadway
But I was out to enjoy the sights,
and there was the Bowery a blazed with lights
And I had one of those tough old nights, I'll never go there anymore
I went into a concert hall, I didn't have a good time at all
Just the minute that I sat down,
girls began singing "New Coon in Town"
Got up mad and I spoke out free, "Somebody put that man out cried she"
And a man called a bouncer attended to me, I'll never go there anymore
I went into a barbershop, he talked till I thought he would never stop
I cut it short, he misunderstood,
clipped down my hair just as close as he could
Shaved with a razor that scratched like a
pin, took off my whiskers and most of my chin
But that was the worst scrape I
ever got in, I'll never go there anymore
I went into an auction store, I never saw any thieves before
First he showed me a pair of socks,
then said he, "How much for the box?"
Someone said two dollars, I said three,
he emptied the box and he gave it to me
"Sold you the box not the socks,"says he, I'll never go there anymore
I struck a place that they called,
a dive, I was in luck to get out alive
When the policeman heard my woes,
saw my black eyes and my battered nose
"You've been held up."says the copper fly,
'No, sir, but I've been knocked down."says I
Then he laughed, oh I couldn't see why, I'll never go there anymore
