Montage (In Three Parts): Montage, Pt. 2: Mother

Goodbye twelve, goodbye thirteen, hello love Why do I pay for all those lessons? Dance for Grandma! Dance for Grandma! (Ba, da-da ba, da-da-da) My God, that Steve McQueen's real sexy (Ba, da-da ba, da-da-da) Bob Goulet out! Steve McQueen in! (Ba, da-da ba, da-da-da) You cannot go to the movies Until you finish your homework! (Ba-da-da) Wash the car (Da da, da da) Stop picking your nose Oh darling, you're not old enough to wear a bra (Ba, da-da ba, da-da-da) You got nothing to hold it up (Ba-da-ba, ba-da-ba) Locked in the bathroom with Peyton Place Tits! When am I gonna grow tits? If Troy Donahue could be a movie star Then I could be a movie star Little brat That's what my sister was A little brat And that's why I shaved her head I'm glad I shaved her head But then my father lost his job So we had to leave El Paso And we wound up in St. Louis, Missouri Well, it was the furthest thing from my mind To be a dancer But my mother would embarrass me So when she'd come to pick me up at school With all those great big yellow rollers in her hair No matter how much I begged her and she'd say "What are you, ashamed of your own mother?" But the thing that made my mommy laugh so much Was when I used to jump and dance around the living room Please take this message To Mother from me Carry it with you (Dad would take Mom to Roseland) Across the blue sea (She'd come back with her shoes in her hands) Mother, oh Mother (Mother fat) Wherever I go (always in the kitchen cooking all the time) Your Maggie (Oh, darling) Is missing (I can tell you now) You so (your father went through life with an open mind) Mother, oh Mother (Tits, where are my tits?) Wherever I go (Listen to your mother; those stage and movie people got there) (Because they're special) Your Maggie (You take after your father's side of the family) Is missing (The ugly side) You so (Wait until your father gets home) (Swear to God and hope to die)