Keep Yer Hands off My P.B.R.

You can spit on my pickup truck, call my Ma a lousy whore Leave a flamin' bag of dogshit outside my trailer door But, don't go messin' with my Pabst Blue Ribbon 'Cause then you gone way too far Keep yer hands, keep yer hands off my PBR You can bang my little sister Like the drum in a big parade You can hand me a big ole cup of piss And tell me it's lemonade You can hide a riled-up rattlesnake in my grandma's cookie jar But keep yer hands, keep yer hands off my PBR You can call Clint Eastwood a homo You can say Chuck Norris is queer You can claim John Wayne was a fan of cock But keep your hands off my fucking beer You can kick me in the gonads You can drag me by the ole nutsack You can tie my pecker in a granny knot And stick a corncob up my crack But don't touch my tasty beverage 'Cause then you took it way too far Keep yer hands, keep yer hands off my PBR You can cop a cheap feel of my woman's ass You can squeeze her sloppy tits But if you go fingering my liquid lover I'ma gonna lose my shit 'Cause when I wanna party, only one drink will do I reach right for an icy can of the red, white and blue So, if you see me down at the tavern, bellied up to the bar Keep yer hands, keep yer hands off my PBR Just yer hands, keep yer hands off my PBR