A Modern Man

I am a modern man A man for the millennium Digital and smoke free A diversified multi-cultural, post-modern deconstruction that is politically, anatomically and ecologically incorrect I've been up linked and downloaded I've been inputted and outsourced I know the upside of downsizing I know the downside of upgrading I'm a high-tech low-life A cutting edge state-of-the-art bi-coastal multi-tasker and I can give you a gigabyte in a nanosecond I'm new wave, but I'm old school And my inner child is outward bound I'm a hot-wired, heat seeking, warm-hearted cool customer, voice activated and bio-degradable I interface with my database My database is in cyberspace So I'm interactive, I'm hyperactive and from time to time I'm radioactive Behind the eight ball, ahead of the curve Ridin' the wave, dodgin' the bullet and pushin the envelope I'm on-point, on-task, on-message and off drugs I've got no need for coke and speed I've got no urge to binge and purge I'm in-the-moment, on-the-edge, over-the-top and under-the-radar A high-concept, low-profile, medium-range ballistic missionary A street-wise smart bomb A top-gun bottom feeder I wear power ties, I tell power lies I take power naps and run victory laps I'm a totally ongoing big-foot, slam-dunk, rainmaker with a pro-active outreach A raging workaholic, a working rageaholic Out of rehab and in denial! I've got a personal trainer, a personal shopper, a personal assistant and a personal agenda You can't shut me up, you can't dumb me down Because I'm tireless and I'm wireless I'm an alpha male on beta-blockers I'm a non-believer and an over-achiever Laid-back but fashion-forward Up-front, down-home, low-rent, high-maintenance Super-sized, long-lasting High-definition, fast-acting Oven-ready and built-to-last I'm a hands-on, foot-loose, knee-jerk head case pretty maturely post-traumatic And I've got a love-child that sends me hate mail But I'm feeling, I'm caring I'm healing, I'm sharing -- a supportive, bonding, nurturing primary care-giver My output is down, but my income is up I took a short position on the long bond and my revenue stream has its own cash flow I read junk mail, I eat junk food I buy junk bonds and I watch trash sports I'm gender specific , capital intensive, user-friendly and lactose intolerant I like rough sex I use the "F" word in my emails And the software on my hard-drive is hardcore--no soft porn I bought a microwave at a mini-mall I bought a mini-van at a mega-store I eat fast-food in the slow lane I'm toll-free, bite-sized, ready-to-wear and I come in all sizes A fully-equipped, factory-authorized, hospital-tested, clinically-proven, scientifically-formulated medical miracle I've been pre-washed, pre-cooked, pre-heated, pre-screened, pre-approved, pre-packaged, post-dated, freeze-dried, double-wrapped, vacuum-packed And, I have an unlimited broadband capacity I'm a rude dude, but I'm the real deal Cocked, locked and ready-to-rock Rough, tough and hard to bluff I take it slow, I go with the flow I ride with the tide, I've got glide in my stride Drivin and movin', sailin' and spinnin', jivin' and groovin', wailin' and winnin' I don't snooze, so I don't lose I keep the pedal to the metal and the rubber on the road I party hearty and lunch time is crunch time I'm hangin' in there ain't no doubt And I'm hangin' tough, over and out!