To Be a Woman

Ugh, I'm afraid however I may drape and veil myself I shall always be Toad The one and only Toad for all to see Not necessarily How so? To be a woman Is to present an illusion Though as a woman You may appear a bit Uncouth But won't it lead to disappointment And confusion In all those men who lose their hearts Then find the truth To be a woman Is to be forever strong-full Ever patient Well I clearly have those qualities in spades! Plus I can walk With quite a wiggle Have a coy Yet girlish giggle And a beauty in repose That never fades Well this is astonishing What a presence What a figgle What a waist Your right I'm wasted on these prison walls To be a woman Is to become more curvaceous To be a woman There is a lister to the lips And should I be far more coquettish And flirtatious No! Let's accentuate those fine child-bearing hips! To be a woman Is an art at which I'm sure I'll be a natural With a flare my masculinity belies! You need more poise in your department As for bras is an assortment As I didn't like to guess about your size Do you have anything in green? Toad! It's such a blessing My hourglass shape And time marches on And now by cross-dressing I'll make my escape You ought to be gone When you've cheekbones as high They just seem to cry for blusher Your shameless I'm just taking some pride In my feminine side! Just as a the great Pimpinela looted the French I shall escape from this cellar But as a candidly wench Lord knows he isn't a beauty Try and I might Thank God the goggles of beauty Have trouble with his sight Well this laundry won't wait Oh don't be in such a hurry Kindly step a side Oh-ho-ho-ho I don't want to be late Let's have a closer look at ya' Getting this load dried What's under that bonnet Tubs of water Lots of soap suds And substantial stains C'mon Get me in a loafer Oh she's not matching the look of your aunt The flipping cheek! Well she makes up for it in personality Come on auntie! Straight to the station! Poop poop! To be a woman Is to know a thing or two about survival With a cunning that is bound to win the day! If one adopts womanly wiles And bewitches and beguiles It's amazing with what one can get away It's amazing with what one can get away!