The Squip Song

Freshman year I didn't have a girlfriend or a clue I was a loser just like you Good times would only soar by I was gross As every female would attest My sexting was a futile quest My little penis was depressed He was so lonely Poor guy I was hopeless, hopeless I was helpless, helpless Every time I'd walk the hallway I would trip I was stagnant and idle I was so suicidal And then Then, then. Then, then Then, then. Then, then Then, then. Then, then I got a squip You got quick? Not quick Squip I've just never heard of it before Yeah, that's the point This is some top secret, can't even look it up on the internet, shit It's from Japan It's a gray oblong pill Quantum nano technology CPU The quantum computer in the pill will travel through your blood Until it implants in your brain and it tells you what to do So... It's like... drugs? It's better than drugs, Jeremy It's from Japan It's a gray oblong pill Quantum nano technology CPU The quantum computer in the pill will travel through your blood Until it implants in your brain and it tells you what to do It tells you what to do It's preprogrammed It's amazing Speaks to you directly You behave as It's appraising Helps you act correctly Helps you to be cool It helps you rule Picture this Nobody cares if you are late Cause even teachers think you're great Your weekend's just a full-on slate of blowout benders Of teenage rockstars splendor Right now you're helpless, helpless You are almost hopeless On the school social map you're just a blip But if you take my advice And if you pay the listed price Well, then you go from sad to interesting to hip Your whole life will flip When you buy a squip Yeah, yeah a squip Hey, a squip No longer a drip when you got in your grip A squip, a squip, a squip