My Father's a Homo / Everyone Tells Jason to See a Psychiatrist

My father's a homo, my mother's not thrilled at all Father homo, what about chromosomes? Do they carry? Will they carry? Who's the hobo now? My father said that one day I'll grow up to be president And that idea's not so wild I don't need the life of a normal child Because I'm too smart for my own good And I'm too good for my sorry little life My mother's no wife And my father's no man, no man at all Honey, why don't you go out and play? (No) Sweetheart, I worry, sweetheart, I do I worry a lot, I worry a lot, I worry a lot I could take you to the Jewish center (ehh) I think you'll like playing chess alone That's not normal (what is normal?) I wouldn't know Why don't you speak on the telephone with anyone? Just get a friend, anyone! Darling, please see a psychiatrist He's quite a guy, and I admire how he acts No one is saying you're a sick neurotic, but you could find some help Hear me out, please, yes, you could find some help He could help you realize How confused you are is very clear Daddy's sincere, but a schmo! You and I must trust our emotions, make no commotions, will you go? No! Jason, please see a psychiatrist He's just a psychiatrist I'll pay the bill until you're old Jason, please see a psychiatrist (darling please listen to your father here) (i'll not go) He's just a psychiatrist (he's not a genius type, Lord knows, but he knows what's true) I'll pay the bill until you're old (he chose a man who I think knows the answers to all your problems) (Never, never, never, never, never) Understands what's bothering you (forget it!) What a mess this is, this family Experts can see this is so Photographs can't capture our magic We're simply tragic Will you go? No Jason, please see a psychiatrist He's not I won't say boo Exorbitant And he's very smart If intelligence were the only criterion Then I really wouldn't need a psychiatrist, would I? No Would I? No Just because you failed as parents? Jet thee to a psychiatrist! Hey, kid, listen! I don't need He needs a psychiatrist! I want A psychiatrist! I want to speak with Whizzer! Speak with whom? With Whizzer! With Whizzer! With Whizzer! With Whizzer! Oh, my God Whizzer! Whizzer! Whizzer! Whizzer! Whizzer, do you think I should see a psychiatrist? I'm not sure, Jason Ow Jason, maybe so (hmm-mm) Absolutely, Jason Okay, I'll go He'll go, I'll go He'll go If he comes here If he comes here He might come here They don't make house calls Oh