Oh Beautiful Town

I grew up blind just like everyone's child In the warmth of milk and deceit Smothered by love and the chemical dust There was never enough to believe They chewed me up, they spat me out Of their system and onto their street And the rest of my life was a sprint to forget All the greatness that could never be Oh beautiful town I remember you blacker than night The whores and the sick-mouths The bad taste and the neon lights Oh beautiful town Where are you now with your binge insecurities? I shut you down, beautiful town Because you tear your children Into pieces Absence twisted with fondness Is the horror I couldn't forget Programmed in the great art Of family, lies and debts Too much expectation Followed by hope and then hate in the mess And the rest of my life was a glorious test Of my will and my selfish neglect Oh beautiful town I remember you blacker than night The whores and the sick-mouths The bad taste and the neon lights Oh beautiful town Where are you now with your binge insecurities? I shut you down, beautiful town Because you tear your children Into pieces On the floor boards under insolent feet I mapped the hopscotch to my parents' retreat With a lavender bag in my hand And words of desperation on my tongue Good night father, good night mother Are you still awake?