The Avengers: Infinity War Rap Battle

We've been waiting for this moment the final opponent Collecting the components to end humanity The first avenger, represent, show your elders some respect I've fought Nazis and robots and I've kept the gods in deck Hey Thor, is Mjolnir light? I got a heart of gold, I can hold it right? Became a super soldier overnight I was skin and bone now all my clothes are tight I don't need a cape or hood to cease Thanos' reign for good You can break the S.H.I.E.L.D Or take my shield, this Roger's neighborhood Yo Tony, me and your dad go back, we should be making up These stars and stripes will have your Back even when they're stained in blood So the mad Titan's here and he got around to running his mouth off I'ma hit him with a right then a Left 'cause I got the ultimate south paw I got the homie Steve to cover me, the blows will just bounce off Fell asleep for a minute but I'm back And I'm looking for someone to pound on I ain't scared of your jewelry, you ain't fooling me 'cause I've got a titanium arm, you came to fight with a glove You'll feel my might when I punch, I'll put a hole in your head Forget black and blue, I'ma beat you till that skull turns red Time for you to say goodnight, the sun is getting real low Shock you with the widow's bite, now you moving real slow How does it feel knowing you could never take us Put on my steel-toes, stompin' purple balls' grape nuts (Romanoff!) Double agent, highly trained assassin That means I'll stab you in your back and you won't know what happened Tony, Thor and Captain gonna leave you blue and blackened Avengers, assemble, you know my crew is never lacking Set my sights, pull back and let it rip Say goodnight once you've been targeted Not long since I been gone But a quick thought of me out of retirement Has got your heart rate faster than these arrow I been firing Said I was out of this rumble, even though I was top of my game But Thanos here looking for Trouble, you know they been calling my name So load it up, on this ride till the fun stops Better run for cover yeah 'cause I only need one shot Peter Parker picked some people plotting poison on my peeps Packed a painful punch and placed it parallel between his cheeks Planned to to pop this poser, problems, now you see the pertinence Penalize the perpetrator, press him, pound him, permanent Adolescent but I'm mad effective Spiderman on the web, yeah I'm that connected Thanos, ain't nobody want you here You just popped up kinda like a bad erection I don't like your face, I'm bout to go up on the high rise And kick you off the web, just like disconnected WiFi I'm about to swoop and commence to battling You about to get pimp-slapped with a metallic wing I'm flying at you, make yo head ring, me and Redwing Poppin' shots in your direction, let the lead sling You cannot get me up here, you cannot fly with a falcon We got you shakin' in fear, yeah you about to get outdone Face it, you just a lame with a glove When the missiles come down justice rains from above, squad Look at his chin, get this dude some lotion Smacked in the face with my Bugatti spaceship, you bruised and broken Dressed in all black like the omen Come for the king, run for your life, now you want to kill I can't condone it, now you gotta face a good opponent What kind of villain are you, the one that's not too clever I'll have you on your knees screaming Wakanda forever You do not know the way, you do not get to speak You may be cold as ice but understand I never freeze Grab a straight jacket fast because this guy's insane Energy blast to face, I'm about to fry your brain Climb inside your mind with my psionic powers Light flash will leave you blind for hours Cower, cry and lie in pain Now tap out, telekinetically giving your arm a twist The Sokovian conjurer known as Scarlet Witch My red magic slash, lacerate your cartilage And lay you down to sleep, then you will truly know God exists Through the smoke around us I could see your vision clearly We're the ones that have to be strong while the world is weeping On the side of life we fight to save what we hold dearly Shield the universe in all out war, it won't be easy Heroes are flooding the skies, we persevere to survive Better together we work harder our power combined Guarding and standing on watch, our people won't be deprived War left us all in the dark, we will assemble the light Not a hero I'm a neurosurgeon but I had to stop my hands really hurting So I'm heading to Kamar Taj it's hidden with camouflage Shamballa, the ancient one, is it manna or mana? Am I saying it wrong? I'll know through focus, meditation Clothed in my new cloak of levitation It's Stephen Strange looking pimp in this suit As seasons change in an infinite loop, just think there is you And then there's me, trapped in this moment endlessly Dormammu, I've come to bargain, Dormammu, I've come to bargain Dormammu, I've come to bargain Till I've done my bars, and then I'm departing We've been waiting for this moment the final opponent Collecting their components to end humanity (I am Iron Man) See me leading the Avengers to be triumphant Hearing Thanos play a tiny violin Yeah he's sad 'cause he knows that we gonna fight to win I'm a scientist so I'll find a plan Shoot a beam then Thor is gonna smash 'em with the Hulk I'm taggin' the Captain America with Spiderman, uh Want infinity stones? See the shine on my hand, more money that the entire clan Hit you with magazines Not from my gun but the ones with my face inside of them You'd be canned, I could tell you insecure like the size of an ant Man, step back when the arc reacts And talk to the hand when I'm firing Okay I heard you about torturing beings, unfortunate Seems you think that you're the Lord of the Rings Hold up, War Machine'll leave you shaking, rattled and scarred I'm coming at your with may more guns than a national guard Flashing your balls with about a thousand rounds of ammunition My shoulder cannons chop your head in half, you making split decisions Don't waste your breath, the Avengers, we the safest bet If you take a step then you will really have a date with death Starlord back in business, drop another awesome mix Your ego like a planet, think it's time it's blown to bits Bruce Willis looking prick, 100% a dick For someone so uptight you be like really into fists Relax my team, I'll blast this fiend like I stopped Ronan's slaughter This galaxy is backed by me, a-hole don't even bother Groovin', no one's hotter and I know shitty fathers So don't hate on the Quill just 'cause the peter in your daughter Galaxy we're guarding it, guardians tear your cartilage You don't want any part of it, aiming straight for the heart of them Hey pardon me but Thanos has his five finger rings out Use my five finger discount, got these fire triggers inbound And you are not a douche guy, I used my wrong eye didn't i? Got to learn to wink right, give me time I was bio-engineered Broke out of cryo, commandeering the nearest vessel Just to pilot it violently up your rear Hahahaha... who are we killing today? Quill, why are the people of your home planet so ugly? And when does the fighting begin? I'm bored and hungry Thanos gonna take a loss against walking thesaurus 'Cause I come from a fam ripped apart Taking down Ronan was just a start They say I live for revenge, but that's not true Sometimes I laugh and sometimes I can be sentimental The other day I called Mantis beautiful I wanna say a few words before battle We're all gonna die, there's no hope in hell Feels like I been waiting for this moment forever Couldn't be better, the day we send you down to the nether Where you belong, I was just a kid, you made me a weapon Now I'm back for my revenge, you best not be forgetting I'm an assassin, and this time I got a whole team Watch your limbs, don't wanna get cut off by a talking tree I am Groot, I am Groot, I am Groot, I am Groot Small as a dot on the wing of a bee On the back of a slightly larger bee On the bill of a duck on the back of A horse, what was the question again? Oh yeah, am I small? Well you could say that Small like a man who's an ant or ant who's a man To be honest I don't understand, gonna kick your ass anyway Careful how you move around me You don't wanna see Bruce turn green If I lose my cool you gon' feel that heat You gon' free that beast inside I'm not the one you really wanna try I'd advise that you run and hide When my Jekyll side's rage starts to rise If you wanna feel defeat I'll oblige Step up to me to meet your demise Thanos, now you're the source of my agitation Better hope I go under sedation Better hope I take up medication 'Cause I got no patience, you got no chance Green grouch bout to take out the trash No romance just tryna smash Uh, so what's a king to a lizard Purple skin is tainted by the gems you failed to deliver A crooked sinner, couldn't stack up if you gathered a horde Fall onto your knees, bow down to the hammer of Thor Everybody wanna get it going but I'm Flowing through the battle like it's easy breezy Loki would've been a better fight for The 2nd time, come have a go, looking measly Drop you harder than your mother did, pathetic Smash you with the snap of my Fingers, I'll come make you regret it, huh Fun isn't something one considers when balancing the universe But this does put a smile on my face Petulant child, evident now you ready to bow It's arrogant how you believe you relevant, wow Malevolent vow, to proceed to level and plow Half of the universe, but first just you it hurts Infinity stones, all capabilities grown I'm all powerful and breaking every miserable bone Every citizen including the Avenger Initiative Can't do anything, I'm taking all your hope and I'm killing it And that will be the story of you, you all died It all pride, gotta admit that you all tried What did you expect, I only court death You can get that break 'cause this is your last breath We've been waiting for this moment the final opponent Collecting the components We've been waiting for this moment the final opponent Collecting the components to end humanity Knock knock, it's your favorite merc with a mouth Dropping my verse like balls in your mouth Ya, I know that's not right But it wasn't cool not giving me an invite To the team, you know, the new Avengers movie, that's what I mean Well f*ck it, I'm gonna come in anyways and lay some sick rhymes 'Cause I'm going to be a YouTube star, okay? Is this the part where I ask them to Smash the like, and leave a comment, er? Gross face burnt like toast, revenge is what I want most I'm cleaning up the east coast, I eat these streets like beef roast Wait sh*t, what was my next line? Am I out of time?