Be A Clown

I'll Remember Forever, When I Was But Three, Mama, Who Was Clever, Remarking To Me; If, Son, When You're Grown Up, You Want Ev'rything Nice, I've Got Your Future Sewn Up If You Take This Advice: Be A Clown, Be A Clown, All The World Loves A Clown. Act A Fool, Play The Calf, And You'll Always Have The Last Laugh. Wear The Cap And The Bells And You'll Rate With All The Great Swells If You Become A Doctor, Folks'll Face You With Dread, If You Become A Dentist, They'll Be Glad When You're Dead, You'll Get A Bigger Hand If You Can Stand On Your Head, Be A Clown, Be A Clown, Be A Clown. Be A Clown, Be A Clown, All The World Loves A Clown. Be A Crazy Buffoon And The Demoiselles'll All Swoon. Dress In Huge, Baggy Pants And You'll Ride The Road To Romance. A Butcher Or A Baker, Ladies Never Embrace, A Barber For A Beau Would Be A Social Disgrace, They All'll Come To Call If You Can Fall On Your Face, Be A Clown, Be A Clown, Be A Clown. Be A Clown, Be A Clown, All The World Loves A Clown. Show 'Em Tricks, Tell 'Em Jokes And You'll Only Stop With Top Folks. Be A Crack Jackanapes And They'll Imitate You Like Apes. Why Be A Great Composer With Your Rent In Arrears, Why Be A Major Poet And You'll Owe It For Years? When Crowds'll Pay To Giggle If You Wiggle Your Ears? Be A Clown, Be A Clown, Be A Clown. Be A Clown, Be A Clown, All The World Loves A Clown. If You Just Make 'Em Roar Watch Your Mountebank Account Soar. Wear A Painted Mustache And You're Sure To Make A Big Splash. A College Education I Should Never Propose, A Bachelor's Degree Won't Even Keep You In Clo'es, But Millions You Will Win If You Can Spin On Your Nose. Be A Clown, Be A Clown, Be A Clown. Be A Clown, Be A Clown, All The World Loves A Clown. Be A Poor Silly Ass And You'll Always Travel First-Class, Give 'Em Quips, Give 'Em Fun, And They'll Pay To Say You're A-1. If You Become A Farmer, You've The Weather To Buck, If You Become A Gambler, You'll Be Stuck With Your Luck, Ut Jack You'll Never Lack If You Can Quack Like A Duck (Quack, Quack, Quack, Quack) Be A Clown, Be A Clown, Be A Clown.