Pet Names (Acoustic)

Just when I thought everything would be okay Just when I started to believe that everything was going my way Out came the cloud from under my feet Crashing back down to reality You used to call me pumpkin, now I'm Halloween Remember when I used to be your jellybean? You used to call me schnookums and shit like that Now you're after me with a baseball bat I remember when I used to be the king Your honey, sweetie, darling, baby, everything I used to be your tall dark mystery man Now I'm just straight up history, man! Just when I thought everything would be alright Just when I started to believe that everything was out of sight You left me with nothing but a scribbled note That said I would no longer be your love boat From here on out my pet name would be "Ex" Your ex, your ex, your ex (c'mon, boys) It used to be sugar, then it turned into salt I used to rock your world, now I'm standing on a fault line Lying naked in a hail storm in the dark You're my little tornado and I am your trailer park You used to call me names too cute to repeat Like honey bunch, hairy bear and Piccolo Pete Goochy-goochy, goo-goo-gaga, shit like that Now you're after me, screaming "You dirty rat!" I don't remember applying for a name change So why the hell you calling me mister deranged Psychopathic, pornographic, stinking drunk Failing fast, lying-ass worthless punk You used to call me sweetie pie and baby doll I guess another stud's kicking in my stall You'll probably call him superman or lover boy You'll probably disregard him like a broken toy Just when he thought everything was going his way Just when he started to believe everything was hunky dory He'll look at that cloud that he's standing on And with an itsy bitsy, teeny, little, almost inaudible squeak He'll notice it's gone From here on out, his pet name would be Ex Your ex, your ex, your ex Sweetie pie? No, ex! Honey bunch? No, ex! Bubble butt? No, ex! Pumpkin face? Ex!