Busted

Why? Why would I do this? I have a tattoo on my under-age backside! Busted, you're busted! I knew somehow that you could never truthfully be trusted A tattoo? What were you thinking! Perfect skin is not for inking! I won't have you be the star of Girls Gone Wild! Oh, no, you're busted, busted! My child I smoke? Torrey, throw these away! Enabler Ah, that's why my mouth tastes like carpet! Busted, you're busted! I'm shocked, my world is rocked And I'm a little bit disgusted And it's not like it's no biggie Every time you sneak a ciggie You are setting off a tiny cancer bomb! But now you're busted, busted! Dear mom And what else are you hiding? That you never thought I'd see And what else are you hiding From the principal and me? These bills are overdue God, money, what a pain! These books are overdue It's money down the drain! And here, a secret spot Aha! I found your stash! This is so-not-organic! Busted, you're busted! You're hosed now I've exposed you! You are through, you're done and dusted! This is sketchy and it's hinky Although thank you for the twinkie Cause we all need some cream filling now and then Oh, no, you're busted, busted! Again Mom, seriously? Calm down! I found your secret munchies So where do you hide the bong? I don't do drugs! I eat Cheetos in bed because they comfort me! I thought this was a scrunchie Turns out it was a thong! Mom, get that out of your hair! I found your secret stash! Candy corn? Mom, lame! It should be available year-round! I checked your browser cache Fox News? For shame! Just looking for truth, dad! I saw that look, oh, geez, dad! You're hot for that au pair! I found all your CDs, dad! I knew that you liked Cher! And dishonesty can hurt And lies we can't accept But the biggest thing I've learned Snooping while you slept Is with moms and dads and kids Some secrets should be kept! But now you're busted, you're busted! You're fine and ever shiny Reputation has been rusted! You're cheeky, and you're sneaky! And a little maladjusted I'm muddled and befuddled And entirely nonplussed-ed I told you when you're older You would wish we had discussed it Now I'm off to find the rest that you conceal! Oh, no, you're busted! Yeah-huh, you're busted! Ooh-ooh, you're busted, busted For real A box filled with old pasta? That's just weird! This necklace that I made her Huh, it's actually not half-bad The journal that I gave her And the family with her dad All these secrets that she keeps All these things I wish I'd known And some I'm glad I know now But some should stay her own