The Slide

(Heaton/Rotheray) When you're too old for the swings You tend to choose the slide And they never seem to warn you The slide's your final ride And when you're at the top of it And you cannot see the end Either don't let go son - Or grab the nearest friend The slide is no respecter of dignity or class As soon as you sit down on it That slide has got your ass Don't take the slide, don't take the slide Heroes and villains have tried and cried A broken soul at the bottom lies denied Don't take the slide, don't take the slide When the slide was invented A thousand drinkers sighed They thought they had the copyright On the very word the slide It's a picture of innocence On which the innocent have fried Take the helter skelter son It's easier than the slide Advice to listening parents Or the father of the bride Let them marry anyone But don't let her take the slide Don't take the slide, don't take the slide Heroes and villains have tried and cried A broken soul at the bottom lies denied Don't take the slide, don't take the slide It'll take you much much lower Than you ever would have asked 'Cause as soon as you sit down on it The slide has got your ass - It's customers are fools And every one of them deceased The long and silver murderer The devil must have greased Don't take the slide, don't take the slide Heroes and villains have tried and cried A pile of broken souls at the bottom it denied Don't take the slide, don't take the slide Don't take the slide, don't take the slide Heroes and villains have tried and cried A broken soul at the bottom it denied Don't take the slide, don't take the slide