Pieces Over Time

I may not be the men I've been I'm still responsible for them All of the hatred and the spite I've let myself let out ain't right And there's no way to put it back Small kindnesses are good and cute But won't erase the poison spewed From monsters I couldn't subdue I speak as though I rose above Transcended muck and have become A better person than I am However bad or good I feel It won't change those who've had to deal With my toxic proximity Am I the man I want to be? The time has long passed for accountability I keep on doing shitty things For all the consequence they bring Waiting for the other shoe to drop I'm a certain someone in my head But he won't matter when I'm dead To the world at large he'll never be Because the man I am inside Means shit all when I still decide To fuck up someone else's day To believe that I can redeem Past actions is a fever dream One I'll no longer entertain What have I become? What do I do now?