Research Me Obsessively (feat. Brittany Snow)

Hey, what are you doing for the next thirteen hours? Don't do anything healthy. Don't be productive. Give in to your desire. Research me obsessively Uh-huh! Find out everything you can about me You know you want to dig for me relentlessly Uh-huh! Using every available search tool and all forms of social media You know you want to look at my Instagram but it's private so Google me until you find out where I went to high school and then set up a fake Instagram account using the name and the photo of someone that went to my high school and hope that I remember that person a little bit Then request access to my private Instagram from the fake account and in the meantime scour my work Instagram account cause that one's public. Research me obsessively Uh-huh! Find an actual picture of my parents' house on Google Maps You know you want to hunt for me tirelessly Uh-huh! It's not stalking 'cause the information is all technically public Check out every guy I used to date And deduce who broke up with who based on the hesitation in our smiles So many unanswered questions. Did I go to the University of Texas? Am I an EMT? Is that my obituary in which I'm survived by my loving husband of 50 years; children Susan and Mathew and grandchild Stephanie? Wait no. That's just all the people with my same name. Or is it? Pay only 9.99 on a background check web site to know for sure. So don't stop, just research me obsessively Uh-huh! and in lieu of flowers donate to other me's favorite charity Research me just research me and research me and research me Oops. It's three days later.