Opening Number

The night is falling on Manhattan And soon the daylight will be gone Anticipation's all around you As one by one the lights are coming on And your feet wanna fly And your pulse wants to raise 'Cause your free and you're young And you're in the right place You're right here You're right now You're a part of New York As the night comes alive In the heart of New York Nothing more exciting Nowhere more delicious Everything's inviting Everything's the best Every soul is soaring Everyone's ambitious No one here is boring Nothing in the world Is like the feeling The feeling that Anything is possible here Even the impossible Is possibly possible in New York You dream when you're awake Any dream can be A dream come true in New York Underneath this city that is all pavement Is a city that's all heart God, this is exciting Don't you feel giddy Man, there is nothing like it Boy, this is the best Stop Now your light is shining Stop Wow, this is a city Stop Stop Ron Ron Ron Stop Ron Alright everybody Let's all stop the rehearsal again Because, because Mitchell has Another compelling question It's Michael, Dorsey And would my character say "The city is all heart"? He is a traumatized war vet Evicted from his rent-controlled apartment During the sewage-baked heat of summer All heart? I don't think so Where in the history of the printed Libretto Does it say any of that? It's the back story I gave him Backstory? He, he doesn't even have a name He's "Guy who walks by" My character deserves his truth I am just saying what every Other actor on this stage Is thinking Lovey, this is a Ron Carlisle show, my vision, Me creating a living aggregate out of the imagination of nothing You want out? You're out Of the whole song? Ha, of the whole show Of any show I ever do In the pantheon of ever And then even after that After that This opening number is benign and dishonest Directed by an inept, derivative hack And this musical Sucks This is the tale of Michael Dorsey He is the center of the plot Is he an actor? Yes, of course, he is Is he successful? Yes, of course, he's not That doesn't mean he isn't real good No one in town would disagree He really could be good as Gielgud But you won't see his name on the marquee Carla, I threw it all away for you Just to cross that bridge, Carla That damn grey bridge That's fine Mr. Dorsey We're looking for someone younger Oh, I can be younger Actually, We're looking for someone shorter Oh wait See, I can be shorter Actually, were looking for somebody different Sounds to me like you don't know What the hell you're looking for We're looking for somebody else Get out! And now there is something quite familiar He feels it rising like the moon He's feeling victimized and bitter Like nothing good is gonna happen soon The odor of humiliation Begins to permeate the room The putrid stench of it surrounds him like An inexpensive prostitute's perfume Mommy, daddy, come quick Something's wrong with Biscuit He was chasing his tail And then he fell down the well That's good, but can you do it happier? Happier? The kid's dog just plunged down a well to its death Why would he be happy? 'Cuz Im the director And that's how the playwright wrote it Then tell the playwright he's wrong I'm also the playwright Get out! And his feet start to throb And his head starts to ache As he can't get a job And he can't catch a break But he's free And he's young He's not young Yeah, that's true [?] on to someone Who's exactly not you! Someone more exciting Someone more attractive Someone they can deal with Not a snotty jerk They need someone nicer Someone less reactive Can you really blame them? Will he ever work? Get out! Wow, he's batting zero Dude, he's so pathetic How does he keep going Maybe he should stop No! It's gonna happen Soon they'll all be clapping Soon he's gonna make it He's gonna make it to the top He's gonna make it to the top He's gonna make it to the No more orders Kitchen's closed! ...Top