What's Wrong with Me

I've got a box full of matches but the fires won't burn I've got a cartload of monkeys, the wheels won't turn I've got a head full of nothing, I never seem to learn anything anymore I've got a bag full of promises I can't keep And a hundred reasons why I don't sleep I've got a lot of friends that I don't see Maybe that's what friends are for And you can do anything that you want to me Cut off my legs and call me shorty Love me although I'm fat and almost thirty-three What's wrong with me? I've got a pocket full of secrets that I can't hide A mind and a mouth that's open wide While nobody ever looks inside They just see what they want to see You've got the gift of the gab, you're fab and full of wit A beautiful face that always fits So give me a break and say a big hello to me And I will give you the life I know you're used to Give me the choice I know you'd choose and What you get is all of me Saying "Howdy Doo, what's wrong with you?" Hey, and with the help of God and a few marines I'll get there someday Hey, by the way I hope you're OK All I want to do Is make your dreams come true I want to be the King of every country Kiss a different girl each month, but When your head rules your heart You never start to understand the score So do anything that you want to me Cut off my legs and call me shorty Love me although I'm fat and almost thirty-three What's wrong with me?