Kidz

Milestones, for me they're just "trial stones" And by that, I mean they're transient down to the bone You reach out and try to grasp 'em in your hands But it all just falls through like grains of sand And I should call them trial runs, cause I'm not good at it My scheming, my dreaming, all counterfeit, and I'm an addict But when the month runs out, don't be surprised if I call it quits And if I pile on trial on trial and smile for the cameras I can pretend I'm alive and not one of the phantom ones Playing "Never Have I Ever" in a darkened room with faces I see every day but still barely know I clearly don't belong here, but I try not to show Everyone's confident, but I'm here gulping, about to face my doom Cause if they don't know I'm a phony yet, best believe they will soon Sirens go off in my head cause I am not clapping My fight or flight response is straight-up attacking It gets to me; come on think! Say anything, just keep it flowing like it's water in a sink! So I say, "Never Have I Ever... uhhhhh... been arrested" Which is obviously true and pretty common, I don't have to mask it No one claps, like wow, aren't I relatable? Yes, for now, but my standing's as shaky as a lopsided table, bro Cause when one of these kids says something sexual, I'll be isolated on my mind's boat Trying to stay afloat, but it'll all be too late cause everyone will see me as a joke, oh my gosh A wise man once said, "We're all just winging it!" Whether that's true or not, I'll be singing it And we're stuck in a world that tells us to be cool But if we all don't get it, it's okay to be a fool Cause we're kids, we don't have to grow up yet We can find our purpose We can conquer our debt We can slay our dragons We can stand up tall We're still kids, we don't have to know it all So glad this circus is over, cause now I'll exit like Obama And be like skrt, skrt, I'm done with this drama Skrt, skrt, I'm done with this trauma Oh wait, nothing has changed, it all just switched hands I'm still growing up too fast, wishing I were Peter Pan Bruh these kids are cooler than me, not just my imagined fantasy See, look, there's Johnny, he's nine and he's got better flow (Damn) Ollie is in seventh grade, best believe he can go ham And look there's Young Will, only a freshman, and these girls look at him like he is the man It's so hard not to get lost in these thoughts again Cause I'm mentoring these kids, but they're stealing my oxygen And the scary thing is that's what I want for them But it's like this one's a boss, and this one's a genius, and I'm over here like, "Uhhh, I really love Jesus?" Shoot, what was that? Nah I need to get away, cause how can I compete? Might as well pack my bags and admit defeat, cause there's no way they're blowing a 3 to 1 lead And honestly, I'm single, single as a Pringle, except for the fact that Pringles aren't really single I mean, have you seen those slutty crisps? Look at a can, they're spooning everyone! Man, I need to dip, I need to dip and get away from this ship Cause there's no way I can compete, I ain't worth shhhh Now a wise man once said, "We're all just winging it!" Whether that's true or not, I'll be singing it And we're stuck in a world that tells us to be COOL But if we all don't get it, it's okay to be a fool Cause we're kids, we don't have to grow up yet We can find our purpose We can conquer our debt We can slay our dragons We can stand up tall We're still kids, we don't have to know it all Don't mind me, my guy Let me walk in here with no connections, my guy Like wow wow wow, aren't I cool? My my my, I'm just like you! But that's so fake My savagery is getting out of hand now But it's all right, I guess I am too cool for school now My patience is straight up at negative three, I mean it's honestly razor thin I try to smile more, but I can never win "Come on, kid, be a boss, just mask your fear with some sedatives Like wa wa wa, get out of my face, blah blah blah, kid, know your place!" No one's blowing up my phone, so I need to blow up my phone (Brrrrt) Or go incognito like Google Chrome (Yeah yeah) You said you liked my book, but you didn't even read it! I'd send you this song, but you'd probably delete it! Oh well, I guess nobody believes in me but me, that's why I'm writing songs with no sleep Terrified of being young, yet terrified of getting older Terrified of getting drunk, yet terrified of staying sober I know I'm not the only one going crazy, but it sure as hell feels like it Some people do it without effort, it took me three hours just to write this (Damn) So how the hell can I fight this, man? I cried when I wrote "Maybe I Should Go," maybe that's a sign that I really should go? Dear God, do I medicate my anxiety, or do I bring it to prayer? Yes, prayer is important, but what do you do when that's all you've been doing, and nothing has changed? Dear God, I'm so scared! Cause what if I'm just defective... like I'm literally trash? What if the reason I can't do this is cause I'm not meant to last? It's time to be honest, unleash a few elephants into the room Cause my life's a joke, I'm dodging these phonies like not now man, please forgive me I'm being Peter Pan All you wanna do is talk, talk, all I wanna do is run, run I'm no longer having fun! I can no longer see the Son! No longer a comedy I need to think, but all I do is think, so I need to shut up! I mean shut up my mind and talk more, I mean stop lying down and walk more! I need to sleep plus wards like seventeen hours, but sleep is a waste of time and my soul just devours Cause sometimes things end and there's no freaking closure Like how the hell do you expect me to retain my composure? You were a viper to me, a pied piper to me, I should have seen it then, but I was as blind as can be I shouldn't have gone to that party, but at least I got some cool pics from it, sorry I guess I have to pretend that I've had it all together this whole time, fam Cause it's the only way I can build my brand, only way I can build my brand, oh my... (Oh hi, thanks for checking in, I'm still a piece of garbage...)