December

24 hours in the same place Told 'em I need me a vaca' I never get 'round to the vaca' Bank statements making me lazy Every day payday I stopped eating meat in '18 still I got a full plate Ya never know when a beef can go off I didn't wanna show off but when you're the first in I need their hearts to beat when they see me in person How is it a fifty-fifty if I need reimbursing? They can't drink from my table if they're not putting the work in She was at home in bed, I'm busy flirting Weekends, I've got the weekdays merging, I swear I'm just tryna keep waves in my hair, I Wanna make 'em record or hold their torch in the air, why? 'Cause I feel alive when it all lights up Let my enemies know that I don't give a fuck When I swore to myself that I'd never look down when I first climbed I've done well for an ex gang member And I've done bits and bobs Just like what Montana done to Rebenga I'm one of the last ones standing Everyone's dead or in jail now And I've got trauma that creeps up on me That I try not to remember I was born in December, five days before Christmas day Haunted by the ghost of the Christmas past Didn't wanna blind him, so I kept my wrist tilted this way I'm not afraid to drop to my knees and pray 'Cause I never thought that I'd overcome this pain I was born in December, five days before Christmas day Haunted by the ghost of the Christmas past Didn't wanna blind him, so I kept my wrist tilted this way I'm not afraid to drop to my knees and pray 'Cause I never thought that I'd overcome this pain Yo, I've been studying psychology 'Cause I didn't wanna go and see a psychiatrist Thank God she accepted my apology 'Cause I don't even think I could do none of this From day one, she proven herself Back when I couldn't get shoes off the shelf Back when I couldn't even get into the club Didn't pop bottles, never have Louis on my belt I'm ready to make a commitment I've got trainers coming on a shipment I've got an M in one account and an M that I put into the crib, are you listening? Me and these rappers are different 'cause most of these rappers chat fiction Me, I'm just telling a story, the type that will go down in history This is December I told 'em I needed a choir Plus I'm thinking out loud, so I'm gonna need quiet I hope that I made 'em proud, but I bet they deny it I been practicing patience, let me apply it I haven't been posting, I've not been replying There's a lot of moving parts, so I needed some time I already believe, I don't need a sign I already know the reason I shine Was looking for symptoms online Emotional instability, impulsive behaviour Rage, sorrow, borderline personality It's a disorder but it's important 'Cause without that I just blend in I'm just brave enough to say it out loud, I'm not unpretending When I was on road, they say I was mad And that was cuckoo, he had to be bad Now that I'm famous, I've had to change the way that I think And the way that I act Emotionally switched off, I'm only just fixing it now I've gotta thank my girl for sticking around and holding me up 'Cause I coulda drowned and never again will I let her down Responsibility comes with a crown and that's why I always frown It was my job to build a bridge all the way from the North over to the South And when they take shots I watch it bounce off my body armour I'm Marcus Aurelius, Julius Caesar, used to suffer with seizures I guess everyone's vulnerable, it's what you do with the struggle though Can't believe I've got trainers in JD, but I used to be criminal 29 years in December but this one is a miracle I've done well for an ex gang member And I've done bits and bobs Just like what Montana done to Rebenga I'm one of the last ones standing Everyone's dead or in jail now And I've got trauma that creeps up on me That I try not to remember I was born in December, five days before Christmas day Haunted by the ghost of the Christmas past Didn't wanna blind him, so I kept my wrist tilted this way I'm not afraid to drop to my knees and pray 'Cause I never thought that I'd overcome this pain I was born in December, five days before Christmas day Haunted by the ghost of the Christmas past Didn't wanna blind him, so I kept my wrist tilted this way I'm not afraid to drop to my knees and pray 'Cause I never thought that I'd overcome this pain