Typewriter torment, dreadful disease
Caught it the first day, I touched the keys
Wear down your fingers and churn out your pap
It eats up your life like a dose of the clap, again
Typewriter torment it tortures me still
If only my doctor could see that I'm ill
Typewriter fever gives birth to a flood
Sweeps through your body, curdles your blood
You curse and discurse but you're damned for all time
The moment your fingers give birth to a rhyme, again
Typewriter fever it harries me still
If only my doctor would give me a pill
Typewriter fever, I'm worn to a stub
I've dumped my Thesaurus and pulled out the plug
I'm rending my ribbon and bending my spool
Don't bother rewinding, I'm done with it all
Why can't my doctor just say that I'm ill?
Typewriter fever is paying his bill
Typewriter fever it harries me still
If only my doctor would give me a pill
