Up in Smoke

Stuck in the deep end No exits, I'm speeding Feels like I'm drowning If I sit still for too long You're worn and you're ragged Eyes burnt out like matchsticks You've been retracing your steps Trying to find your way home But you don't even know where that is anymore And you don't even know what you're searching for I know that I messed up I know you know it too But I promise I only had the best intentions When it came to you Thought that a clean break would be easier to heal But I still see your face And I still feel your touch And I hear things I don't want to hear And in that silence I realize what I actually fear Now I can't meet my eyes when I look in the mirror Would you take my word if it meant nothing? Would you come back if I said I'm sorry? No you won't How come everything I love always goes up in smoke? And I know it's my fault but I can't let you go