What then shall I say?
What sermon do I have to offer
Or legacy to pass on?
I give no wisdom nor have I knowledge
Always cleaning the slate and restarting
Endlessly retracing steps
Returning my soul to the start
Or perhaps my own vomit
Should not a brick already be laid?
A monolith however poor?
Though I have lived, it seems I have not learned
With no foundation on which to stand
But I cannot unearth the truth
I fail to expose him
Yet surely the laws govern nature
For it exists and functions all around me
Yes even in spite of me
Within me and without me
I ask again what is my statement?
Can this current ambivalence remain?
It appears sheer lunacy, if without goal
Is it enough to be undead
Directionless, wretched and confused?
Logic whispers of my arrogance
To think I could myself presume
And make the great decision
To end my days and simply cease
Nothing left to glean
But life inside me counters
Fool!
The possible outcomes and paradigm shifts
Who am I to make that call?
Thus here I am, as if waiting
In some stupor deeply lodged
Between life and death itself
Utterly appalled by both
I see myself in this slumber
Hooked up to machines
And wonder ought I set it free?
Or if all life however awful
Is sacred and worth living.
