TOSGANO (feat. Jon Early, Daveed Diggs & Stanley Tucci)

It's very rare that I have to recommend a TOSGANO What's a TOSGANO? That's my little acronym What's it stand for? This one sucks, get a new one You've got a dog, but the situation's hairy And by that, I mean naughty And it's getting pretty scary It don't act like a pet, no This is a TOSGANO Let me spell it out for you It's T-O-S-G-A-N-O This one sucks, get a new one It sucks, it sucks so friggin' much It sucks so friggin' much This one sucks, get a new one I can't get rid of it fast enough I can't get rid of it fast enough You don't need a license to be a pet therapist, do you? No, ma'am So, under what circumstances would you recommend a TOSGANO? Is it like, is it like if it pees wherever it pleases? (eh) Won't get a job and watches too much TV? (uh-uh) What if it gives you a dumb, blank stare? (nope) Or flashes his lipstick out of nowhere? That does suck, but it's not enough For a TOSGANO guarantee, an H-A-B is what you need Another acronym? (Yes) Which stands for? "Hazardous Antisocial Behavior" Which means? Biting, but Shampagne's never bitten anyone, right? (Hhm) This therapist's breath is stinkin' Like a dirty dog, but it's got me thinkin' There's a plan cooking in my Helen melon, that could be fruitful How to get rid of that shitzadoodle All my dreams'll come to pass If I can get Shampagne to bite Bitsy's ass Oh my God, my puppy's growling at me And it's got me yellin' Who's gonna save me? Helen! This one sucks, get a new one It sucks, it sucks so friggin' much It sucks so friggin' much This one sucks, get a new one I can't get rid of it fast enough I can't get rid of it fast enough Why are you laughing? Is it because of my job? Yes, let's say yes