The Truth

I started bein' honest with myself Havin' conversations that weren't very easy, I need help Three words never thought I'd speak But here we are, Xanax bars Started poppin' them to cope, then got addicted Started thinkin' that I'd probably die alone See this life is way too fast for me I'm in the same career where half my colleagues turn to casualties Know y'all got those R.I.P tweets up in the drafts ready to go- For the moment that I finally take too much and overdose Always thinkin' 'bout my fathеr burstin' into my apartment Just to see his only son overdosin' on the carpеt Flashin' back to every memory of when I was a kid- While he makes a final speech before he closes up the lid I couldn't do it anymore, flush the rest and went to war I'm gettin' sober I'm takin' my spot Back and shut the door on my addiction I hope you listen 'Cause everything I write from here on out is my prescription Yeah, that's the mission All this fame is overrated, over what man? I been stressed All these fake people started to surround me and my friends I don't need that energy, I don't let those demons in Finally startin' therapy, now it's time to reinvent, uh I got demons (Josh we know that you got demons) They been schemin', plottin' on my head and they control my feelins' They make death sound so appealin' But I keep on movin' 'cause I don't wanna give up I been workin' I been zonin' I been craftin' up this masterpiece Is it time where I top everyone that's out here passin' me? You want the old Josh, I think we found him Shook his cage and set him loose 'Bout to take over, they just don't have a clue, yeah Thought I was done, that was just the beginnin' I'm takin' my sound and now I'm reinventin' it Push my limits, said no more gimmicks I'm treatin' my music like my final minutes Until I hit that self destruct, this is my only motive Gotta be focused, I'm locked and loaded Explosive, I'm so devoted You said that you wanna break rap, I been there (already done that) But they would never care if you never read or say somethin' Never been through the mud, never read your day once Tell you that you changed up, 'cause you got your pay up And as I been climbin' the ladder, circle gets smaller I'm sadder, enemies spawnin' I'm flattered but I guess none of it matters Feels like I don't have no one Around me to tell me that I been messin' up So I just rely upon myself to learn There's lessons of countin' my blessins' Countin' money is like countin' my stresses Less I got of one, the less I got of the other My demons pullin' me under So guess I'm just testin' the suffer Rather not be great, 'cause all the great ones plunder It's easier to get high It's easier to let go of the things that hurt you again It's easier to get drunk It's easier to drink up when your pain goes on, now I know