Lost

You can tell me that I'm perfect 'Cause you've never seen me hurting Only know what's on the surface Say I'm fine, but I'm not fine When the demon's in my head Sometimes I just won't leave my bed So if you're leavin', I'll understand, understand Yeah, it's been nonstop I swear this touring's been killing me, everybody watch And I don't like seeing cities and Then leavin' them just to go to the next I think I've seen too many faces, but it's all in my head The nights I stayed up late just working put me in a position That people line up at the shows now and they finally listen Seeing every single one of you just truly makes me nervous 'Cause when I see the checks, I just don't feel I deserve it So after shows I go right back to the hotel and look myself in the mirror Asking what do I do this for and it all becomes clear That I don't know what I'm doing, sometimes it feels so confusing I see people wear my merch But I still feel like I'm losing this upward battle Did a show in Seattle Panic attack on stage and I had no where to travel So I just carried on, did the show in tears until the curtains drawn I got anti suicide songs, but I still sing along They say depression's a journey The only difference is a journey has an end Implement some ways to cope, but it's still hard to circumvent Fans say they sick of sad songs, I'm just tryna vent Sayin' I'm just tryna vent You can tell me that I'm perfect 'Cause you've never seen me hurting Only know what's on the surface Say I'm fine, but I'm not fine When the demon's in my head Sometimes I just won't leave my bed So if you're leavin', I'll understand, understand I wish my anxiety had an off switch So I can just flip it and then never worry again Maybe then I'd be comfortable when I'm around all my friends I never feel wanted even though I probably am And I'm so sick of all these late nights, reminisce when I waste time Think about all of my better days back before I even wrote lines Revisit nostalgia just to try to finally feel something But all the stuff I did when I was younger Just don't feel the same, yeah And my sadder days turn into like every day Started doing drugs just to try to finally numb the pain Yeah, but all that got me was addicted to prescriptions Want a way out Swear I'm always searching, but don't think I'll ever find it, yeah The voices in my head been telling me that I should quit this But I got some plaques up on the wall, I really did this Started from the bottom, now I'm touring, filling stages But the more success I'm gaining makes me hate it You can tell me that I'm perfect 'Cause you've never seen me hurting Only know what's on the surface Say I'm fine, but I'm not fine When the demon's in my head Sometimes I just won't leave my bed So if you're leavin', I'll understand, understand