Christmas (And Dad Wants Her Back)

You put the Christmas tree up I take the Christmas tree down Just so the children associate me With everything wrong in this town It's December, it's snowing, the feeling is growing The parents can't even explain It just feels so right when the pavements are white And everyone boos if it rains I still put the carrots right out A mince pie, milk, or maybe some port Even go down in the middle of night Drink them, make sure I'm never caught They don't blame you for trying, but all three are crying The dinner's dried up and it's black In the least of surprises, I bought the wrong sizes They all know that Dad wants her back Dad wants her back The year I knocked Christmas tree down Just an hour after I put it up Adjusting the angel, nativity's crown And claiming you'd not been to pub Yes, the brandy is flowing, your dad's nose is glowing The whole house is decked green and red The snowman in snowdrift, the glittering driver With snowball aimed at his head I still put the carrots right out A mince pie, milk, or maybe some port Even go down in the middle of night Drink them, make sure I'm never caught They don't blame you for trying, but all three are crying The dinner's dried up and it's black In the least of surprises, you bought the wrong sizes They all know that Dad wants her back Dad wants her back I take the lights off the tree First, turn them off at the wall Just so the very last glimmer of Christmas I'm seen to be ending it all I still put the carrots right out A mince pie, milk, or maybe some port Even go down in the middle of night Drink them, make sure I'm never caught Christmas for many, just a lucky old penny A quiet glass of whiskey in chair But Christmas for me, is a cold cup of tea And a morning with none of you there