On Hold

I am back here once again In the mist, In the mist without sight Thought I fought my way back Now I'm afraid, I'm afraid to lose hope Will I ever be the man In control, in control of his world? Open wounds that will not heal Pull me back, pull me back inside And I, I was always on the side Of conformities and pride Had no shelter from the rain And I, I was always on the side So I kept my little lie To be safe from what may come To be lonely inside of my thoughts A state that I tend to avoid But if I can't get to them I think no one can Moving forward nonetheless I'm afraid this is how I've become How can I sort it out, when I don't even know what I'm looking for? If I only knew, then at least I could deal with it I don't even have a plan On how to move forward from here And I, I was always on the side Of conformities and pride Had no shelter from the rain And I, I was always on the side So I kept my little lie To be safe from what may come All my life is on hold In this moment There's nothing here but darkness My life is on hold It's on hold Until I've figured out this maze I hold my breath and count to ten Maybe then it will all go away Distraction strategies may work But only, only for so long I, I was always on the side Of conformities and pride Had no shelter from the rain I, I was always on the side So I kept my little lie To be safe from what may come - come And I, I was always on the side Of conformities and pride Had no shelter from the rain My life is on hold In this moment There is nothing here but darkness My life is on hold It's on hold Until I've figured out this maze My life is on hold In this moment There is nothing here but darkness My life is on hold It's on hold Until I've figured out this maze