And so this fella said to me
You should invest in property
You want to double your money
And be a little more like me
Another day another test
Another angry cyclist
He says, "Get your mutt upon a lead"
Then he shot off at double speed
What a fucking hero
Everybody is an expert these days
I'll do me, and you do you, come on
Everybody is an expert these days
I'll do me, and you do you, yeah
Everybody is an expert these days yeah
This chubby fella in the gym
I'm on me sit-ups, getting trim
He said, "That's not how it's done at all"
His belly's hanging 'round his balls (the cheeky cunt)
He could have been flirting
I couldn't be certain
I was too busy laughing at him
Trying to tuck his shirt in
Everybody is an expert these days
I'll do me, and you do you, come on
Everybody is an expert these days
I'll do me, and you do you, yeah
Everybody is an expert these days
Days sent to try us
And in the middle of a virus
Why'd wanna seem pious?
These hazy days
That leave you wandering
If there's no song that fits
Why not sing any old shit?
Michael Phelps can barely swim
If you compare him to a dolphin
