Not Home

I'm not home, least not here Don't know where to go, my dear Lost in a maze Lost in your face Alter my false imitation I often make Off the page, I'm not the main Mansa Musa, golden lakes And colder days Don't know what to do until I see the unfolding fate In front of me I'm over it You under me, I'm hoping that The reason I've been holding in And holding out on you is that I'm Older now Gotta different way of thinking I ain't been focusing on smoking or drinking Or loving or being a presence in your life And I got things to regret And I've been selfish think it's right To think on how it affects You and me Remember days that I would kick back the seat And I'd be open and honest and tell you how I would be Put a reversal on your spell 'til my shell is complete I think I fell and can't get back on my feet I'm not home, least not here Don't know where to go, my dear Okay it's been a while since I've laid out my thoughts And like how sugar is always paired with things that are dark And how I put the milk in my tea to be marking the start Even though you came to save me I've got scars on my heart And even though I'm seeming lazy gotta tell it apart And even though you think I'm crazy I'm dismissing the charge And distance is hard, the tension building 'tween us like a visiting card People see us wondering 'bout how we getting this far Distance, from myself I gotta I get it right Missing, wondering 'bout where I am at night 'Cause you got a reason to believe in me And you afraid I'm leaving by the evening Your friends gotta ask what you even see in me You teaching me 'bout how not be so selfish Helpless, how you found me then Know I'm lost but you give me a profound meaning I'm not home, least not here Don't know where to go, my dear I'm not home, least not here Don't know where to go, my dear