The Crack Was Ninety In the Isle of Man

Ah, weren't we the rare auld stock Spent the evening getting locked In "The Ace of Hearts" where the high stools were engaging Over the footbridge down by the dock The boat she sails at five o' clock "Ah hurry now lads" said Whack "Before we're there sure we'll all be back" Carry him if you can Oh the craic was ninety in the Isle of Man Before we reached the Alexander Base The ding-dong we did surely raise In the bar of the boat We had great sport as the ship she sailed out of the port Landed up in the Douglas Head Enquiring for a vacant bed To the dining room we soon got shown By a decent woman from up the road "Bate it if you can" Oh, the craic was ninety in the Isle of Man Next morning went for a ramble round To see the sights of Douglas Town All went in for a mighty session in a pub they call Dick Darby's We all got drunk by half passed three To sober up we went swimming in the sea Back to the digs for to spruce up While waitin' for the rosie We all drew up our plans Oh, the craic was ninety in the Isle of Man That night we went to the Texas Bar We came back down by horse and car Met Big Jim and we all went in to drink some wine in Yeats' The Liverpool girls it was said Were all to be met at the Douglas Head McShane was there in the tie and shirt And foreign girls he was trying to flirt Saying "Here girls, I'm your man" Oh, the craic was ninety in the Isle of Man Whacker fancied his good looks With an Ilse of Man woman he was struck The Liverpool lad was by her side And he peggin' the jars in to her Whack he thought he'd take the chance So he asked the quare one out to dance Round the floor they stepped it out To Whack it was no bother Everything was goin' to plan Oh, the craic was ninety in the Isle of Man The Isle of Man woman fancied Whack Your man stood there 'til his head came back Then "whack" they all whacked into Whack And Whack was landed on his back The Douglas Force arrived as well Landed a couple a belts as well Ended up in the Douglas jail until the Dublin boat did sail Deported every man Oh, the craic was ninety in the Isle of Man Yes, the craic was ninety in the Isle of Man