Exhausted

Everyday I wake up wishing that I didn't Cuz my mental condition is poor as the way I'm living Vaguely I remember a time when I had interests Lately it pains me to think to the point that I hardly feel it If you don't know the definition of 'indifference' Find it in the dictionary, beside it you'll spy my visage Knowing I need help but still refuse assistance My pride gets in the way plus I don't trust you to begin with Narcissistic with a side of borderline nihilistic Then again show me who isn't fitting that description Yesterday, today, tomorrow. What's the difference? Plagued by the same bullshit since the beginning Always lacking something I need, give you an instance Heartlessness, I should've dead him but I didn't Now, I'm beat in every sense, it's senseless I don't even think I wanna fix it I'm exhausted Nightly conversations with my insecurities Cuz that's all I got at times when I need company Tryna remember all the shit I said I wanna be And wanna do, I hear shit today and it sounds dumb to me Cuz I don't have energy for discovery At this point, I'm just taking whatever comes to me Therapist said I'm mind-reading, she think I'm trippin' I would believe her but my left eye won't stop twitching Don't tell me it's superstition, I left a meeting They said my job's on the line, I don't think I can keep it King Cortisol, I'm angry but suppress it They say I'm hard on myself but I don't know how to correct it What would you do when you feel misdirected Wanna make better moves but can't help it Cuz everything feel like a setup for a setback Step back into a death trap and that's that Exhausted