I Guess I'm Nothing

I feel like an idiot Like every single word that out coming out my mouth is shit, lately I ain't talking its a bitch Cuz every single word I'm just depressing all my friends, shaky I ain't wanna face this Demons in me got a lot of faces Oh no no Mental state is straight shit Some days I aint really think I'll make it Oh no no I know they wanna see me on a stage But know that I am terrified when eyes are on my face They say my music saved the day But every single day I struggle with anxiety I used to want my shoes yeah But now I'm standing here and fuck my head is still same Thought it would've changed shit But now I realize that happiness needs pain Yeah so won't you tell me what do I mean to you I guess im nothing I have a feeling I was used Am I disgusting, sometimes we have to face the truth I know im nothing, so you drain me out to be reused You love to cut me down so you know I won't leave you Till he comes back around and you love to say we're through I wanna spit you out when will I learn the truth I'm sick of screaming awake here's a big fuck to you Cus I am done with being on the low why you gotta hide me so Like are you just embarrassed of me, I feel like I am nothing I hear your ex-best friend talk about how much your happier That's fucking unfair when you left everyone in the gutter I guess it's time I moved on and just learned to fucking grow I know I hurt a lot of people on this path you sowed For me and my best friend, didn't know what love really was I can't just blame you for everything but the drugs were your fault I felt like I was euthanized laying on the cough half alive Stuck in a tunnel vision overthinking trapped in my mind Makes me feel like im redundant never wanna be by my side You woke me up at 2 am to watch your veins just collide How do you think it makes me feel watching a suicide attempt You know it fucked my mental state you watching me with contempt Like was this my fucking fault I always tried my fucking best I knew I wasn't enough I took my chances and I left Yeah so won't you tell me what do I mean to you I guess I'm nothing I have a feeling I was used Am I disgusting, sometimes we have to face the truth I know I'm nothing, so you drain me out to be reused You love to cut me down so you know I won't leave you Till he comes back around and you love to say we're through I wanna spit you out when will I learn the truth I'm sick of screaming awake here's a big fuck to you