More Than Music IV

Yeah You ever feel like you don't say enough while also saying too much? Overthink so long 'bout what people gon' probably judge Too many signs misread from ones I thought I loved Guess the closest to your heart can deal you the worst cuts Lately petrified from these lessons I should've known Start to question my existence, the other things that I don't It's why I'm closed off, unread messages on my phone And the words I wish I said, all stuck inside of my throat Trying to let it out, they told me, "Breathe, trust me, you fine" While my heart rate increased, anxiety filled my mind I can barely go a day without fearing my own decline So I pace around my room, alone, writing these lines I'm defeated often, oh the irony of persistence In pursuit of happiness I confused the purpose of living There's a blue sky outside, but I ain't close to finished I obsess over this fear, letting down future children I'm a menace, I'm an outcast, dealing with all this pain I'm as lonely as a spell that's cast away in the rain Built a castle on a hill, that crumbled from all this change Tryna put it back together is different, but still the same Am I making sense? What if I'm not even making sense? What if I dropped a song and no one relates to me in the end? I know it all depends I feel my heart beat through this pen, I think it's heaven sent I don't just fake weak for a trend, this is all I got Sad but beautiful This is all I got My sad is beautiful, I know Sad but beautiful My sad is beautiful, I know Yeah Every piece of me inside this music Some days scared I won't get it back Often thinking about the factory job that I started at Would I be happier, never checking on my social stats? Got so blinded by a dream and the things that I could've had Solely guided by emotion, stranded out in the open Waves crashing overboard as my spirit was barely coping Trouble holding on, 'cept to this cigarette that I'm smoking This ain't what I planned, not even close to what I was hoping But there's beauty in the struggle, something I've come to find God tests His strongest soldiers to keep 'em present in mind And in mine, would you stay? Never leave from my side? 'Cause in Christ you strengthen me, I'm so powerful I could fly But I stumble often, I'm not as perfect as I seem All this anger in my chest I keep hidden behind the scenes Along a journey and my growth, I'm only a human being "More Than Music" is precisely what all of these lyrics mean It means I'm incomplete, broken, often misunderstood On this lonely road we walk, never gave up when others would Found in a lost place, done everything that I should Just 'cause there's darkness in my past, it doesn't mean I'm not good, I swear I'm trying Sad but beautiful I swear I'm trying My sad is beautiful, I know Sad but beautiful My sad is beautiful, I know Sad but beautiful My sad is beautiful, I know Sad but beautiful My sad is beautiful, I know My sad is beautiful, I know Yeah