Pathetic

I don't like the things they do at parties They get drunk and nobody's ever sorry But I get offended when I'm not invited Even though I know if I was there I'd just be thinking "God, I wish I was home" I want love, but I've got commitment issues I cry all the time, I'm running out of tissues I'm starting to think that I only let myself fall for the player type 'Cause it's too much pressure to be someone's everything all the time I always complain that I feel like I don't feel have any real friends When really I do, I just don't put in effort with any of them I'm good at convincing myself that I'm alone But maybe they'd ask to hang out If I would just pick up my phone Self sabotage gives me a round of applause 'Cause when life is going good, I'll find reasons why it's not I cut people out, 'cause I can't stand a crowd If I didn't get so homesick, I'd run straight out of this town I'm the only one who doesn't want what's best for me That's why a stranger looks at me and instantly feels sympathetic Somehow I think that it's wrong for me to be happy I sniff out all of the bad things 'cause I hate surprises Isn't that pathetic? I need a break from people when I'm with them too much But when they do the same I think they must not like that much I'm insecure and it's become a joke among my group of friends 'Cause if I suspect someone might not like me the whole world ends I lose my mind then meet a guy and think I found it Then I get hurt and write a song or 5 about it I barely knew him, but I cried for days when we were done I have this habit I imagine every guy is the one I see girls online then I look at my life and I pity myself Why can't I have it all figured out like everyone else? I know that there's millions of people who walk in my shoes But my crippled ego believes no one's got it worse than I do Self sabotage gives me a round of applause 'Cause when life is going good, I'll find reasons why it's not I cut people out, 'cause I can't stand a crowd If I didn't get so homesick, I'd run straight out of this town I'm the only one who doesn't want what's best for me That's why a stranger looks at me and instantly feels sympathetic Somehow I think that it's wrong for me to be happy I sniff out all of the bad things 'cause I hate surprises Isn't that pathetic? Looking back on my life, it's like watching a comedy Evil laugh track plays on repeat again and again My romantic life is more like a horror film Looking back on my life, it's like watching a comedy Evil laugh track plays on repeat again and again My romantic life is more like a horror film And all the good guys are killed in seconds and I'm not who I wanna be and I wish I could stay intact I wish I could stay in bed 'Cause the sun's too bright, it's hurting my eyes Going outside gives me a migraine I need to cut caffeine and hydrate Listen all the things about me that I hate All I did in a song was exaggerate All I did in a song was to deprecate 'Cause we live in a world where it's glamourised Where it's cool to have a pathetic life We're doing fine But who cares if you're not crying? Isn't that pathetic? We won't admit, we're doing fine