Federal Express

Welcome back to our regularly scheduled programming Your humble host had a minor mental breakdown But his medication's back in order I'm here for a good time Not a long one Let's go You see, living is only dying in slow motion And growing up was mostly a calendar I have a master's degree in social skills and anxiety pills Money talks, people scream and the masses are shaking their asses Now I'm riding in on a tidal wave On a boat of Papier-mâché And I like Tom Hanks in Castaway Hoping that God one day FedEx will sponsor me too That's short for Federal Express So he went, "Mister, Mister How do you like your eggs in the morning?" I usually put my morning coffee in the microwave Life's a box of chocolates and somehow Somehow, I'm allergic to chocolates In retrospect, I guess it was all quite alright Now I'm riding in on a tidal wave On a boat of Papier-mâché And I like Tom Hanks in Castaway Hoping that God one day FedEx will sponsor me too And I like Tom Hanks in castaway Hoping that God one day FedEx will sponsor me too There's still some things I haven't told you about I probably should though Listen up I look better in pictures I'm lactose intolerant I can't speak French I think my best days are behind me I'm a disappointment to my parents I don't have a driver's licence I lie, I steal, I cheat Now I'm riding in on a tidal wave On a boat of Papier-mâché And I like Tom Hanks in Castaway Hoping that God one day FedEx will sponsor me too And I like Tom Hanks in castaway Hoping that God one day FedEx will sponsor me too This is me calling out to you, Federal Express I'm hoping that God one day FedEx will sponsor me too