Just a Number

This weekend, I went to the doctor And they checked my weight like they do everytime Took off my sweat shirt Stepped on the scale Looked away and closed my eyes I guess the nurse didn't see me 'Cause she said it out loud And I felt like I couldn't breathe I was still the same size as I was just before she said it But my body felt heavier to me It's just a number But old habits die so hard And I blame Tumblr and the year 2013 And my mother for as far back as I can remember Talking shit about her body But it's just a number This weeked, I went out shopping Retail therepy, been a long week Went through the sweatshirts And through the dresses And I grabbed a couple jeans But the six didn't fit me, wouldn't go over my knees The eight was still a bit too tight I tried to ignore that a year ago, those would have fit And I went out and grabbed a bigger size It's just a number But old habits die so hard and I blame Tumblr And the year 2013 And my mother for as far back as I can remember Oh, how am I supposed to love you When you make it so hard In every mirror all I see are the stretchmarks and scars And will I always feel like I'm too much, but not enough? I wish I could believe that it's really just a number But old habits die so hard And I blame Tumblr And the year 2013