A Man Apart (Intervention)

Momma say I'm the spitting image of my daddy Deep down, I know she wish she never had me They ain't have faith in me when I started rapping I can straight drop, rerock and rewrap it Every day I be thinking about suicide My momma kicked me out, she chose love over me Then wonder why I don't put her before the streets Streets showed me everything I need to see I seen my daddy on the concrete For so many nights I couldn't go to sleep Nowadays, Auntie-boo talking to me in my sleep Ain't nobody gon' love me like you love me I was dirty as shit back in thirty-three Now the trap jump like Larry Bird, 33 Drac' go off, burn a nigga in the third degree My auntie don't like me and I don't know why She can't look me in my eyes, let alone say hi Shit hurt but I never let it fuck with my head I blame you for my big cousin being dead All a nigga ever needed was a place to rest Now he got a permanent place to rest Why the fuck you wanna show so much love now? You ain't love him when he was thugging, don't love him in the ground When I die, don't come to my funeral Don't hug my mother, don't try and soothe her They don't even know what the fuck I be doing Try and change everybody life with the music My momma said, "Baby boy, you stress too much Just like yo' dad, you do too much" But whatever a nigga do is never enough My sister told me, "I believe in you Keep yo' foot on they neck what you need to do" I said, "I never thought I'd hear them words come from you" She said, "I don't give a fuck what they say about you Just know I'm always riding, won't play about you" I love baby cuz like my baby brother That's cuz but I call him my baby brother There ain't nothing in this world that we won't do for each other Play with 'em if you want, bitch, I'll bury your mother I told the Grim Reaper to take me home You ain't gon' give me a ride then leave me alone I stared death in the face so many goddamn times Stood ten toes with 'em every goddamn time Took three Percs tryna calm my goddamn mind My grandma think I lost my goddamn mind I know I'll break her heart into pieces If I ever told her what's on my goddamn mind Instead I hold it down like everything fine 'Cause they say things get better in due time Well, I hope it do happen in due time Before I get locked and have to do time Treat me like a outcast, wanna single me out Bullshit back-to-back, still ain't bringing me down My own fam, they don't like seeing me 'round It's crazy, my family probably think I'll rob 'em They act funny with me then I be ready to rob 'em Don't get me wrong, that's my family, I'm not gon' rob 'em But if I did rob 'em, it wouldn't be a problem 'Cause I never did nothing wrong to nobody My momma asked me why I don't be talking 'Cause when I talk, they think I'm retarded I be stuck in deep thought quite often It's seven Percs left, I might off 'em They ain't gon' be happy 'til they see me in a coffin Or stuck in a wheelchair, not walking I remember my grandma lied on me for no reason And still to this day I wanna know the reason They labeled me as shiesty and greasy I'm sliding for my dog whenever he need me Seen Tito in my dreams like a day ago He said, "No matter what, cuz, just play your role" Shit fucked me up, I woke up sweating bad Looked in the mirror, all I saw was my dad I blinked and BK was behind my back I blinked one time and everything went black I opened my eyes, I'm bloody as shit This the second time this shit happen again Got me looking for cuz like, "Where he went?" Can't find Pops, he gone in the wind This shit ain't right, somebody playing with my head Seen Auntie-boo at the end of my bed It been eleven years since she been dead But every day, that shit still fuck with my head She had cancer, laying in that hospital bed Her last request was, "Can you hold my hand?" I be going through problems you will never understand 'Cause I never even reached out for her hand